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Who am I in a traumatised society?

The title above is from a lecture on youtube with Franz Ruppert, and the english title of the book is: Who am I in a traumatised and traumatising society.

Yesterday I followed a session on EMBODIMENT CONVERSATIONS 2020

It was led by Mark Walsh about Embodiment, with these participants: Peter Levine, Gabor Maté, Richard Schwartz and Dan Siegel.

This blog is mainly about my experiences and reflections about trauma, and how I have been able to understand more of my own life, which I’m getting new perspectives to step by step, thank’s to lectures and different ways to work with my own body and soul.

Understanding different mechanisms always helps, but the main key has been to be able to recognise my own obstacles, which have spread fog on my way to be in relation with other human beings. When my heart and mind can cooperate, I’m also able to give my body a necessary attention to work with the wounds that has led to a natural way to suppress parts of myself. That’s the way to survive when overwhelming experiences happen. Some of the issues is that we by being traumatised ourselves we may also become both perpetrators and victims, and we can change between being both. Revenge is not a sustainable solution. To understand ourselves through self compassion, when we may have the urge of being a perpetrator against ourselves or others, is the path to less drama in life. My way to understand and partly forgive have been to look at trauma in a broader picture. We all have some transgenerational, historical, cultural and therefore in short a collective trauma burden we have to recognize to be able to come to terms with how trauma affect all of us in some way.

An easy way to understand why people never are only what we see and think based on our frames we need to put people in, is to have a look at a video, STEP INSIDE THE CIRCLE, which is from a prison, and a comment from Gabor Maté is:
“When you study prison populations, you see a common preponderance of childhood trauma and mental illness. The two go together. So what we have in prisons are the most traumatized people in our society.”

My father was both in prison and psychiatric hospitals, and he also could have stepped inside the circle. So could I. So could my mother. My grandparents and so on. Transgenerational and collective trauma are affecting us. We also have to hold on to the fact that it is not only «black». We have survived and therefore it is also a fact that we still are alive because of the resilience we carry with us from former generations.
Luckily I did not end up in prison, but I have my experiences from being in the forced psychiatry. What happened there was that I got even more traumatised, and forced medication led to a loss of the possibility to stay in touch with my own body and soul. My mind became closed. I lost my own language.

The sense of shame and confusion were added in a great amount.
Yes, I was confused and I grew up with my amount of shame, and I was in a state of psychosis, but I did not get what I needed to get on my feet again. Trauma-informed care was not given in the forced psychiatry. On the contrary my life fell totally apart. The adding of shame and disgrace, in addition to lose my ability to think and to speak, the lack of staying i touch with my emotions, did give me a set-back, and was really not a help to get on track again. Luckily I have been able to work with myself the years after, in spite of the experiences from the place most people think we do get help. I understand that there is a collective trauma, and I also see that to be able to work within this system, I guess they are traumatised themselves.

It is known that anyone who have been traumatised from early childhood tend to seek isolation, as the only way to survive, because being close to other people feels like a threat. It is the opposite of what we actually need. We really need other people.
Some of the challenges is: Until you get to stay in close relations and reveal your own traumabiographi, it will be natural to recreate situations that lead to more traumatisation.
If we don’t learn how to expand the healthy part we all have in us, we will continue to stay in a bad circle. The survival parts in us do not seek what is healty, but thank’s to these survival parts we are still alive.
It is not an easy answer on the question on how to work through trauma experiences because we are all affected in some way. The «helpers» may have become helpers because of their own traumatic experiences. It is always a question to ask one self: What is the main reason to do the work I do? It may be to escape from our own pain. If so, it is nescessary to work on that before we really can be able to help others to find their way to work with themselves. We should always ask ourselves why we are being attracted or may be feel distinguesed to oneanother. It’s not necessarly because it might be healty to us, we are being attracted by one another.

We all have to understand the perpetrator and victim attitudes, which Franz Ruppert speaks about in the video I mentioned, and also in the book I have mentioned. Gabor Maté is well known world-wide, and you will find a lot of lectures on youtube with him on several topics about trauma. It is no longer necessary neither to pay or travel to listen to him, and that’s a good thing for those of us who don’t have our bank accounts full of money.
What I also find really interesting is how Nelson Mandela showed the world how not to act out revenge to his perpetrators. He did the opposite.
«For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.» — Nelson Mandela
Nelson Mandela dedicated his whole life to fighting against discrimination and insisted on setting all people free since we all share the same rights. Something he was saying was: Respect yourself and the others, and look down on no one.

I write mainly to get a wider understanding myself, and I share it with those of you who find what I write interesting, and I do share it for free because I have got a lot of this understanding for free myself. If you like what I share, or as well if you dislike it, it would be nice if you leave a comment.

The photos with Michael Meade’s photos and texts are from: https://www.facebook.com/MichaelMeadeMosaic

Other photos are my own work.

2020.10.08 Siv Helen Rydheim

Sustainable ways to heal a society?

The doers create new ways to inspire people to start their recoveryprocesses and that’s something that will have an impact on the whole society. There are people I know, who actually create ways to make our societies a better place to live.

I could mention several persons who have meant a lot to me in my own recoveryprocess, and to many others, but that will not be today.

I also know a lot of people who’s mission is to come up with what we have to change by the way we live. There’s a third group who constantly are pointing out what is wrong, and we also need them. In a way I can relate to all three groups, and I guess I want to stay among the doers.

I will in the future have the focus on those who actually are in a process of recovery or are working to get into a personal process to recover, to make a difference in their own life and at some point in the society. These are big things, but it is so essential that we in many different ways continue to work for sustainable societies. It all begins with oneself wanting to start to find the path which is unique for any person.

I have been looking at several videos with Thomas Hübl. He shares in a talk, his thoughts about what he calls our collective trauma. I find it interesting, as a way to accept both others and myself with all our wounds and, and I guess the most important is:

Our possibilities to heal our collective and individual wounds, which has led to trauma, and the fact that we still are alive because of the resilience we carry with us, is interesting to have a closer look at. As I hear what he says, I find a balanced way to talk about trauma, which also may give some more understanding and compassion both with others and ourselves.

E.g. I know, if I go on being too tough with myself, I cannot give anything to other people. The first important lesson is to give myself room to try and try to do my best, and eventually to fail again and again. That’s the only way to learn to stand on my own feet, and at the same time being able to take the responsibility for who I am and what I choose to do in the society where I live.

To me that means I have to ask myself if I in any way are bringing any light into others or if I by doing this or that only pour out on others the darkness I carry inside me. Because I know I can do both… And I hope for the future, I will mostly try to bring more light into the lives of others, and if not, I continue to have that as my main goal. I really have this as my main goal, also because I need more of the light myself, to light up the dark I do carry in me. If I can manage to do so, I will carry on sharing my experiences and knowledge.

The healing of the collective trauma can affect us in a way that helps us to create sustainable societies.
My impression is that todays societies gets more and more fragmented, in spite of all the efforts to change the the way we live, but there are also light in the darkness. To me the ongoing Covid-lock-down has led to more insight in my own lies I have been telling myself.

The doers
Some people really are doers and therefore have the ability to show others how to start a lifechanging journey, both for themselves and for people who follow them. It all begins with some people who take action to cooperate to make sustainable changes for themselves and the society.

I ask myself right now: What can I possibly do to bring more light into the world? Into other peoples life? Into the society? I might continue with sharing some of the stuff I have learned, which has helped me to get a more sustainable and meaningful life?

To me it’s quite simple, because I know I struggle mainly about how I understand myself and how I connect and interact with other people, animals and the nature in general, and I still have a lot to learn. When I say simple, I know that I gone through a lot of struggle to come to that: I first had to be willing to work with my own ghosts… and stop telling others how to live their lives, when I had trouble to manage my own life, due to relational trouble I have been in with an relatively active part of myself. We all have parts in us. Some gets stronger than others without being fit to cope to live in relation to others in a good way. It’s not easy to see oneself from the outside. And… I suspect I have a lot more to learn, until I’ll no longer shall be walking along on the earth. My curiosity is what brings me further on my pathway. I still have the urge to be a lot by myself, but I will also try to connect to other people more than I have the last 10 years.
I might share more of what I have learned these 10 years, and continue to stay open to the sharing and teaching from others, which I have gathered in the last 10 years. I have learned from many kind of teachers, which also mainly have lived what they try to share with others. It is first of all people who have the kind of knowledge, due to lived experience and those who teach with that as a foundation in combination with research and theories. How their lives eventually have been turned around from looking at life with hopelessness to meeting life with hope.

I want to bring hope to people who are struggling to find a meaningful way to live, because I have been struggling a lot myself. My way to share is mostly by writing, which I actually do with great joy, because now and then someone says to me that what I have shared ment something which made a difference to them. I’ve been writing for many years, sharing personal experiences, but also by sharing knowledge from others, often at the same time.

I know deep inside me that I have to give more time to that kind of activity, to make it encrease, as I at the same time are changing my own life, and I also continue to search for what I might learn from others, who are sharing their knowledge and experiences in different ways. One of my ways to sort out what is important or actually bullshit, is to write whatever comes to my mind. The process of writing is a kind of healing process, as long as I do it, when the stories and the words just come to me, and without having an ugly judge sitting on each of my shoulders. When the ugly judges come, I have to tell them to wait untill I have finished my story.

I recommend to have a look at the video I share a link to, from where I have written down at part from, which you also can read. To me this talk gives a deeper meaning of what I already have been studying, in my way, through studies elected from different persons and places. My «journey» in to this field started with a trauma study and therapi at what is now called: Identity oriented Psychotraumatheory and – therapy (IoPT).

About collective trauma. How he understands collective trauma and partly how Thomas Hübl understands the impact it has in our lives, and he also tells about the non-profit organization in which he works from.

Thomas Hübl says something I want to share today:
I’ve dealt with many overwhelming and difficult situations and also difficult situations, and also life develop a lot of resilience that sits in my cells, in my psychology, in my way of interacting, in the way we build societies, so not only has the hurt been passeed on, but also so many lifetimes of actually turning that hurt into resilience, into an intelligent growth, and that’s amazing and all of this sits in our bodies and in our psyches today.

Part of our contemplative journey today is that I see, well my body is not 49 years old, but my body is actually hundreds of thousands of years old and older, because life had a long journey to come up to this point in time. My nervous system it’s very old, many lifetimes have built the complexity and the capacity of my and your, and our nervous system, so the consciosness that we can experience creates and live throught today has a long journey, a high complexity is super intelligent and is also easily being hurt.

Through my my work the last 15 or 18 years, there was a point in my work where I started to do a lot of work in Europe and Germany. With the Holocaust came up in my retreats and workshops, and it showed me like a process that started to happen, over and over again, where suddenly the dimension of collective trauma, as I call it today, came up so I started to study that and then more and more I understood:

– WOW – Here is actually a big ghost in the machine. The machine is us. It’s our bio computer it’s the part in us that is actually invisible because that’s it’s nature and so the collective unconsious holds a lot of unintegrated information that we unconsciously need to deal with all the time, and there’s a difference if a – so we call it collective trauma, because there’s a difference if an individual has been traumatized within a more or less stable surrounding, or if there were big events like wars or natural catastrophes, or genocides in certain areas of the world that had an immediate massive impact of pain, of suffering and trauma at once at a huge population, and I believe we are sitting all around the world.

On the one hand we could say the world looks very beautiful from out of space because we see this beautiful blue marble in space, but I believe if you look through another lens we see that the tissue of this world, the living tissue of this world which includes the natural environment, and the older life on the planet actually has been also immensely hurt, and that brought me to the understanding that a lot of our medical and health understanding, of social symptoms, collective social symtoms, political issues, climate change, many collective symptoms that we see nowadays actually have a deep invisible root, and that root I believe is our to discover.

I often say collective trauma is like you grow up in an apartment and you never leave that apartment and some day somebody comes to visit you and asks you:

Hey, how does the house that your apartment is in look like?

That’s very interesting because has anyone ever been outside of a traumatized collective?

Maybe my parents, my teachers, that taught me in school or the university and in society around me displayed symptoms of traumatization.

My nervous system, everything that conditioned me how I learned was partly out of free flow, but partly also out of separation, distancing, numbness, emotional retraction or hyperactivity. And so I learned that it’s the world we are living in, and I believe every one of us learned it more or less.

So when we talk about collective trauma, the interesting thing is that it’s very hard to have kind of an outside perspective. It’s like we are going together into a jungle, maybe with a light or a torch light, but nobody has been in there really fully and looked at it from a kind of an objective perspective.

From the youtube, which says:

Highlights of this Introduction video:

– What is Collective Trauma?

– What is the reason for the trauma function in us?

– The collective, relational answer to collective trauma

 by Thomas Hübl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2pg4Pr5KZ4&list=RDCMUC8aSR_qI6MCIJkGJfPn1RvQ&index=20

To understand

why it is so difficult, to do what Liz Mullinar says: Treating the core problem?

I stumbled into an article which lead me to a TED-talk by Liz Mullinar. I hereby recommend Liz Mullinar: Treating the core problem of childhood trauma.

This is the article I stumbled into:

Victim Blaming: Childhood Trauma, Mental Illness & Diagnostic Distractions?

When will this knowledge be accepted and be the main knowledge in mental health care?
It is reason to give hope to those who suffers from childhood trauma. First of all it must be acknowledged and treated as such.

Here is a quote from the article:

-By the way, the prevalence of childhood trauma exposure within borderline personality disorder patients has been evidenced to be as high as 92% (Yen et al., 2002). Within individuals diagnosed with psychotic or affective disorders, it reaches 82% (Larsson et al., 2012). Individuals with psychiatric illnesses and a history of trauma also appear to display significantly higher functional impairment than the remainder of the sample (Cotter, Kaess & Yung, 2015).

Thank’s to Liz Mullinar & Matthew Britts!

Knowing this, how can we continue not taking this knowledge into account?

Another TED-talk: When time doesn’t heal all wounds by Dr. Robert K. Ross I also recommend today.

This last video made me think about my father, who also spent time in prison as well as in psychiatric hospitals. I find dr. R. K. Ross interesting to listen to because he acknowledge the pain, but at the same time he believes in personal transformation.

Now and then I think about my dad and how he could have been relieved from shame and trouble and instead been given hope for a better life. He was a sparkling person with a lot of light, but he also brought us a lot of darkness. A kind of darkness my mother have carried out a great deal. Divorced parents should not talk too much about their bad experiences with eachother to the children, I know, but I also know that it is easy to say. And nobody is perfect… The perfect world does not exist 😉

Sometimes I struggle with not being able to forgive myself. It is more than 30 years since my father died, but I still can regret some of the actions I did when he was alive. What I did I did because of fear, and I have to try to hold on that I did my best…

gravstøtte besteforeldre Nordreisa

This is my grandparents grave stone (on my mothers side). One day I will write about them too. They both died in early age. Tomorrow my sister come to visit me, and we will go to visit my grandparents grave, I guess.

With kind regards

Siv Helen Rydheim, 20.04.2016

 

 

I often ask: What is the reason?

That is a question I have asked myself and others. Is it helpful to know the reason why (e.g. my parents did not manage whatever the society expected)? Or would it just be better for me not to ask too many questions? I’ll never know for sure. I can’t stop asking questions. But I will try not to disturb people who does not want to be asked.

Many questions I will have to live with, and some questions are very disturbing. But it can be even more disturbing if I try to hide the causes which brings up the questions.

Ronda - treet ytterst ute - 12063666_10153079675777413_49566343429307008_n

Sometimes I feel like a tree on the edge, but I have also learned a lot about human behavior. Nature helps me to find words which help me to describe my emotions. Writing to understand trauma has been one of my ways to cope with the effects of complex trauma for many years.

And some of my questions has really helped me e.g. to look at my parents in a more compassionate way after learning about multi generational trauma and how trauma may influence our way of behave. Trauma in a multi generational context is interesting and for me it led me into a field where I have found a way to explain to myself some of the questions I have been asking. As I wrote about in “Can I cope with the shame?”

If my compassion does not include all my family, it is incomplete. Unfortunately I can’t always see or meet all my family with compassion, but it helps me to know intellectually that it is possible to explain some of our obstacles with multi generational trauma.

I want to tell about a period of time when I was in my twenties when I had a lot of contact with my father. He was imprisoned for about two years and during that time he refused to eat about three weeks before he was transferred to a psychiatric hospital. A social worker called me and asked me a lot of questions I in a naiv way I told what I knew about reasons why my father were struggling mentally.

When I came to visit my father in the hospital I realized I should never have told anything to the social worker. The fact is: That was the last time I saw my father. He became angry with me for having told about what I assumed has been traumatizing experiences for him. I got upset because the social worker had not understood that it could be shameful for my father, some of the stuff I had told about. Among other stuff I had told about stuff I had heard about from his childhood. There will be several ways to look at the episode, but for me it is clear that shame got in the way for an open dialog.

Shameful experiences, even if I in one way might say: I’m not to blame. I will feel shame anyway because I have been involved. I feel shame even if I never ment to hurt anyone. The fact is that I told the social worker something I should not have done.

It is still sad to think about that the last time I met my father he was angry with me because I had done something I should not have done. I just had a very naive attitude to helpers in the psychiatry. I’m guess the social worker had little knowledge about how shame is poison someone’s life. My father died two years later, and in spite of all the drama I experienced with him, I’m grateful for the insight I got and for all kinds of memories I have with him.

About 20 years later I myself were taken with force into a psychiatric hospital and there I experienced forced medication. Finally in Norway it is now a work going on with planning a psychiatric treatment where people can come and without being forced with antipsychotic medication.
At times life feels paradoxically and almost unreal, and I can tell that I have written a book with the title “Love does not ask , it is”. I wrote the book because of my experiences in psychiatric hospitals.
There are surely different kinds of love. But I guess that most people want something in return for their love and kindness. Some people does not have neither love or kindness to share. They might have been in lack of receiving love or kindness themselves? It is contagious both ways, I think 🙂
But the way I have learned to know God, Gods love does not ask. Many people will disagree with my way to look at the love from God and that’s ok. I just don’t see a demanding or an angry God. I have experienced a lot of people thinking different from me, but that does not change my way to see God.

Wish you all a nice day. Today it’s a lot of wind where I live, but I have my little dog that does not care that much. And the wind might be good to blow away some of the thoughts I have about shame 🙂

Båti og Disak 07.04.2015 11102659_10152680877327413_5709802542934555887_n

This I my dog and one of his dear friends last winter.

Today I will recommend  a video about addiction: –Everything We Think We Know About Addiction Is Wrong    

-What causes addiction? Easy, right? Drugs cause addiction. But maybe it is not that simple. This video is adapted from Johann Hari’s New York Times best-selling book ‘Chasing The Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs.’

 

 

 

 

Can I cope with the shame?

 

Yesterday after having published Childhood trauma may drive me into isolation I felt ashamed because I wrote about something which I have not written about before.

I don’t know if writing about some of the situations from childhood will set me free from feeling ashamed? May be, may be not. Does it help others with similar experiences? I don’t know that either.

What I told about my mother was to explain why I think my autopilot takes over sometimes. It is not a lie, and I just have to say: She also has her good sides. And she were also traumatized. Nothing is just black or white.

Selvmedfølelse - Bilde1
I have copied the photo above from Facebook. I want to add: If my compassion does not include all my family, it is incomplete. But it has been a tough way to get there… If I can’t see my whole family in the light of compassion I can’t see myself with compassion.
I remember very well going home from school the first time after having moved from another place. It was with my big sister and some other girls from school, and one of them asked: What is your father doing? I did not get the possibility to answer before my sister said “He is a sailor”. I had i my mind to say: “Our parents are divorced”. But I realized the shame about our father because there were three words we could say about him: Alcoholic, criminal, prison. I think those were the three most used words from our mother about him. I know how bad stuff about parents gets into shame for children. So when feeling shamed about what I wrote yesterday, I decided to write even more of all the shameful stories I have in my memories.

I spite of the bad things that have been said about my father, I will tell you that I love him. I love him because he were very human. I did meet him twice when I was 12 years old, and that I will tell about some other time. I had a periode in my early twenties I also met him several times. My impression was that he was traumatized, but very human with his problems… He died before he got 50 years old. Bless his soul.

 

My dad in 1979. Then I could add words to who he was… He was also a fisherman 🙂

All about him as about my mother is not black or white. They are both colorful.

 

Enough for today… Hope you have a nice evening.

Siv Helen Rydheim, 18.02.2016

 

Todays recomendation is a TED talk with Gabor Maté

The Power of Addiction and The Addiction of Power.  

Canadian physician Gabor Maté is a specialist in terminal illnesses, chemical dependents, and HIV positive patients. Dr. Maté is a renowned author of books and columnist known for his knowledge about attention deficit disorder, stress, chronic illness and parental relations. His theme at TEDxRio+20 was addiction — from drugs to power. From the lack of love to the desire to escape oneself, from susceptibility of the being to interior power — nothing escapes. And he risks a generic and generous prescription: “Find your nature and be nice to yourself.”

 


 

Childhood trauma may drive me into isolation

I used to think that I have my free will, but sometimes I have experienced that what I have thought about as my free will, actually is driven by some kind of fear. The fear is something which sometimes is hidden behind a lie about a free will. I have lied a lot for myself because it was too hard to face the real reason. I have an autopilot who sometimes takes over when I’m filled with fear.

Båti hoppende glad des 2014  10858496_10152452541417413_4010686397891660538_n

My poor mental state in autum 2014 did not affect my dog, I hope. At least in this photo he seems happy 🙂

In autumn 2014 I did run away because I was overwhelmed of fear and flash-backs. In one way I guess that it can be wise to run away when other people loose control and stay there just yelling at me. After finishing the yelling is hearing “I don’t care how what I said affects you”, a really bad thing to hear. It is a way of telling me I have been standing in front of a person who lack empathy.
Another possibility is to stay there and try to ignore the person who is out of control. I know some people manage to react that way. I guess that my body remember too well that in my childhood it was not only the yelling which made me run away, but sometimes also the beating and kicking.

I choose to think I’m lucky to have experiences which make me leave a place because I recognize smell of smoke. I do not need to actually see or even worse to be caught in a fire. This is a pattern and a way I have been coping with yelling people since I were a little girl.

Sometimes I just leave a place and I never go back because the thought of going back makes me fearful. I always need time to recover after these kinds of experiences.

The last time in 2014 it was a long lasting relation to an organization I had been involved in for many years which ended because of disagreements and too much yelling. I guess that one of my ways to cope with my traumas has been working to try to make the mental health system understand that forced medication is an inhuman way to deal with people who in fact need help from caring people, and that forced medication makes it even worse. I felt that all the work I had been occupied with in many years was just a waste of time.

As long as I remember I have struggled between a need to stay in control of my emotions and to let go. Crying was forbidden since I was 14 years. I have really cried a lot the last years, and especially the last year.
I may go into a state of wanting to be isolated from other people. I do that if I experience some relational trouble which reminds me of my childhood, and how I did run away from my yelling mother. She could shout out anything she felt were wrong about me. When “I feel wrong” I just want to find another place to stay.
What happend i autumn 2014 was that I got in touch with a terapeut who helped me to get in touch with my emotions. That was the good part of it. It was by breathing while I talked about my experiences. As long as I remember I have struggled between a need to stay in control of my emotions and to let go.

When I look back I guess that in early age I developed a need to try to do everything as perfect as possible. Even if I have been trying to give more room to creativity than to perfectionism for a lot of years I still feel the struggle, but I cope with that struggle 🙂

E.g. writing in English is a big challenge for me and actually a way of letting go to the perfectionism and giving more room for creativity.

This is something I painted some years ago, and this is an example on how my creative side actually can work if I let go of the perfectionism in me. It is what I call intuitive painting because the motive comes without any planning.

Søkelyset foto av maleri Siv Helen Rydheim - maleri fra 2009 - akryl på plate

This was used to the cover of a book I participated in.

 

Wish you all a good evening.

 

Siv Helen Rydheim, 17.02.2016

 

Todays recommendation:

Adaptive affects and experience of self and others in therapy

 

 

 

Writing to understand trauma

13.02.2016

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I love being at the beach looking for these things 🙂 It reminds of some of the good things I remember from my childhood. It is important for me also to try to remember what was good.

Coping with complex trauma

One of my ways to cope with complex trauma is to write about it. Sometimes it helps to write to let go of thoughts that troubles me.  I know I can cope with obstacles due to childhood experiences by writing about how they affects me.

Until now I have used my native language which is Norwegian. Now I’ll try to write in English. The reason I will do that is that I lately have found a lot of interesting literature in English. Therefore I’m challenging myself into using English in a new blog.

My experience is that writing helps me to understand trauma and the effects it has had to my developmental possibilities in life. I’m now 60 years old, but I still have my struggles due to childhood trauma. I was diagnosed with psychosis i 1992, but I never fully accepted the way I was treated in psychiatric hospitals. The coerced treatment with medications was a way to retraumatize and give me extra stones to my life.

It is easier to write about this than to talk about it, but once I have written out my thoughts and feelings it becomes easier also to talk about it.

I’m fully aware that my way is not a way I can tell others to try to copy to cope with their experiences with complex trauma, but I also know that it has helped me to read about other peoples way to cope with complex trauma.

It is something about to recognize some of the struggle and to be able to learn that there are a lot of people “out there” who can tell about their experiences.

There are many other ways I use to cope with my experiences from early childhood. Briefly I want to mention some of them:
-Being in the nature alone or with my little dog
-Art therapy
-Meeting people with similar experience online in closed group
-Research and professional development

Båti Talvik

I love my sweet little dog. It is easy to love a dog or a cat. It is more complicated to love human beings…
My interest for research and professional development has led me to a lot of interesting stuff. Later on I will also share some of that.
I will share one specific experience with art therapy and experiences with being part of a closed online self help group. I have also attended self help group where I worked with my challenge with boundaries.

Best regards from

Siv Helen Rydheim, 13.02.2016

 

 

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